I'm A Bloomer!

See that flower down there – it is a bloomer. See the other group of flowers over there – they are a family of fellow bloomers. I have decided to become a bloomer; and I think we all should become bloomers! My blooming idea is a label I have put on my change in attitude. I’ve decided that I will no longer hold grudges. (See–resolutions are not just for New Year’s). Recently, I’ve heard and seen on TV that holding grudges can reduce a person’s life expectancy. A grudge sits like an ugly little troll on your shoulder and in the back of your mind, picking away at a corner of your happiness only to possibly fester into something even uglier still.

I think the younger generation has a great slang saying, “Don’t be a hater!” It is so true, even if sometimes it is used in parody at fun-filled sporting events, backyard basketball games, etc.

From now on, I’m making peace with myself and peace with the world. If something is said or done that upsets me or I don’t like, I will label it a disappointment, fold it up, and tuck it away in my pocket. If my pocket becomes full, like taking out the kitchen garbage, I will discard them and wait for the next pocketful to do the same. But I refuse to hold onto them for too long of a period. If they grow old in my pocket and I forget about them, they will eventually fall apart in the wash.

Sometimes things are hard to pick up and put in the pocket, but I will be resilient in doing so. The saying that it is easier to forgive than forget, is true; but forgiveness makes me feel better. Forgetting can be done just as easily as my pocket metaphor afore-described.

Do you know that Wiktionary defines a grudge (as a verb) to “to grumble, complain; to be dissatisfied. . .to be unwilling to give or allow (someone something).” The Free Online Dictionary describes a grudge (as a noun) as “a persistent feeling of resentment, esp(ecially) one due to some cause, such as insult or injury.” A persistent feeling of resentment – those words – just saying those words – makes me feel sour; who wants to become a sour person? Not I, said me.

I recently saw an episode of Dr. Oz where he raised the question of “Is holding a grudge bad for your health?” The answer was “Yes. Research shows that feelings of anger, hostility and resentment are risk factors for heart attacks.” Okay, do I (or anyone else) really want to pile on another risk to my health? Hell, no, not me. Hence, my own campaign to rid my life, my body, my mind of those feelings.

I know it is hard for people to do this. After traveling down this road for some time, I finally hit a fork in the road and decided that it was time to make a decision. I want to make my life better, healthier. If that means filling my pocket with little scraps of disappointments, so be it. As I said before, it doesn’t take much effort to reach in there, pull a few out and throw them away. You lighten the load and you feel a heck of a lot better. I’m not a saint, I never pretend to be. I’m not a therapist nor a psychiatrist nor a psychologist nor a mental health practitioner; and again, I don’t pretend to be. But if this will help me to become a better person and restore some harmony to my well-being and relationships with others, then (in my own mind) I'm a healer. Definitely, I may not have discovered the Fountain of Youth, but maybe something much more worthwhile and important to my life – the Fountain of Lightening the Load A Little At A Time.

Everyone should try it – blooming, unequivocally, costs a lot less than Valium.